Do you have a favourite icon to draw inspiration from?
Someone you look toward as they live the life you would like to live, exude emotions you would like to feel and do the things you would like to do? Someone you relate to in some way even though your worlds may be miles apart?
We all need an inspiration to give us hope
When I was a divorced, single mum wondering where life was taking me Nigella Lawson was my inspiration.
We look nothing alike, have nothing much in common (apart from both having children and loving food) and our lives couldn’t be further from the same. But yet as I watched her cooking show before the news each night I was inspired by her freshness, her love of family and cooking for them and the way she scuttled around her simple, often very messy house, exuding a warmth and enthusiasm for her way of cooking and indeed her way of life, that it was hard not to feel inspired.
In Nigella’s world cooking and housework could be a joyful and comforting pastime.
She inspired me to look at my kitchen in a different way – to open my home to friends old and new and enjoy the process of creating scrumptious lunches and dinners for them.
Many interesting and fun hours were spent in my kitchen in those days and I learned to create a new lifestyle in the ashes of divorce.
I learned to create and design a new way of life inspired by Nigella – if she could make cooking and entertaining in her kitchen look appealing and fun, I should give it a go and immerse myself in this warm and wonderful way of life.
Sitting in bed at night I drew further inspiration reading from her book ‘How To Eat’ as it told many stories about her family and food and her words were so beautifully crafted and although very ‘English’ and not at all like our Australian way of speaking, it was still appealing and encouraging.
Later on I learned that during the making of the television series Nigella’s cancer stricken husband was dying in the rooms above her kitchen.
Her world was crumbling and yet she still smiled and she still cooked and she still enjoyed – or at least looked like – her life and the pleasures of creating superb meals with those she loved.
What an amazing women – she became an even greater inspiration to me, as I saw a woman who soldiered on and made the best of her situation and each moment she had.
When she probably felt like sitting down in tears and giving up and saying how ghastly and horrible and totally unfair life was, she kept on going for the world to see.
She kept going, kept on doing what she did and eventually she came to find a sunnier place after the pain, with a new husband and a new life.
There is always more sunshine after the rain.
I watched two Nigella shows on the weekend just gone – one from her first series and the other from her latest set of cooking programs. You can see the difference – in the first she now appears to be more stressed, less relaxed and less glossy and confident – but at the time she was just perfect to me.
Fast forward to a new era, and she is glossier, more confident and the house is brighter – the pain has moved on and although she no doubt carries the sad memories her life is in a new stage now and it is obvious.
Nigella is an inspiration to me because of many things but most of all she is one of my favourite women because 1. She made a simple business of cooking and being a mother look appealing and inspired me to recreate my own ‘domestic’ life and 2. She kept going and came out of the other side of the pain and she shows that no matter how bad things can get it will change.
There will be sunshine after rain ... maybe not immediately, but eventually it comes, you can’t avoid it ...it will always happen
So make sure you are ready for the rays when they start to warm your world again.
In the meantime, who’s your inspiration?
As I coach women recovering from divorce and looking for a path to a new life I encourage them all to find an inspirational person to draw strength and hope from.
If you don’t have a person you can be inspired by start searching today.
Follow their story and let it bring hope and joy into your heart – I guarantee the comfort their story will bring into your world will be uplifting when you can think of them when times are tough and ask yourself how they would do it, what they would say, how they would overcome their situation. Don’t feel jealous of what they have or scoff that they are lucky – look to them to see the light that can also come into your life if you let it and if you keep believing and hoping.